Well, I had it all planned out in my head (or so I'd like for you to think...) and I was all ready to sit down and write this awesome piece on everything. And then the Phillies had to suck, a lot of a lot, and put me in all sorts of a terrible mood. Also, whoever was in the Card's locker room with the stuffed squirrel mocking the Phillies should be castrated. Also, idiot, the at bat with the squirrel ended up in an out anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Even though I'm upset, I can't really be too upset. Philly played like shit. It's that simple. They gave up stupid runs, their defense was nowhere to be found, and they couldn't hit. No, I take that last one back, they couldn't even fucking swing the bat. But, I guess I've just created an awesome segue (not to be confused with the awesome standing scooter thing, which would be even more awesome had I just created one of those. And I will shortly ruin the seguetion (yes, now a word...) by continuing to ramble way beyond the point of no return. If I didn't, I wouldn't be me! :) ) I think. Sure, professional/collegiate sports are fun, good, and awesome. They give us hope, role models, and a way to bring people closer (or further apart, which I guess is where I will be getting, eventually, maybe, knowing myself.) Why am I upset that a sports team that I in no way have any stake in is no longer in contention to be the World Champions? Why, in general, do we personalize everything to the point that we get into arguments/fights over what amounts to stupid, meaningless bullshit in the long run? Hell, even ever, for that. But we DO make big deals about these things, when we have nothing to do with any of it. I guess I can blame the Internetz, because it gives every asshole a voice, and a very big wall to hide behind, but I'm sure parenting also comes into play; where has respect gone? More and more it seems people don't give one solitary shit about anything outside of their beliefs or anything that will somehow benefit them? Why does it always seem that there are ulterior motives behind someone's reasoning to do or not do something and anything? Am I just hanging around stupid sanctimonious scumbags too much? Or am I the smug motherfucker with my head so far up my own asshole that I can see the light of day through the other side? I guess it's like the age-old question: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? The world may never know. Enough of that horse manure (I hate manure!), time to get back on track (I seriously don't think that is possible for me, but I shall try, because I love you so much. Yes, you, and only you!).
What the fuck is up with the disappointment that is the new iPhone 4S?! Now, it's so easy to pick on, I'm going to skip past the fact that it's been longer than the normal yearly cycle, because, well, in Apple's plan for domination of the U S of A, they released the iP4 mid product cycle for Verizon, and that whole difficult time painting shit white was another later delay which held people over. That whole 16 (?) month thing is a non-issue in my book. Anybody that makes it one is just grasping at straws (that is a saying, right?). But let's just recap really quick, what this year's phone has added to the last. I'm using TiPB's list and adding a couple of things from the front page of apple's iphone site because I'm too lazy to actually think for myself... =]
-A5 (probably underclocked iPad2 chip)
-Worse battery life (yet people are claiming it better?)
-Intelligent switching antenna system (possibly stolen from Samsung... seriously, hahaha)
-HSPA+ 14.4 (which when they announced must have forgotten about LTE... oops?) (also, not even 21 or 42... the cheapest/slowest one of the bunch...
-World phone
-8 MP camera
-1080p video recording (why? Seriously, why?)
-SIRI (disabling it if you have the app on an iP4... also, why?)
-option of 64 GB (read: more money to be made, although, with the whole double density NAND needed, debatable/questionable)
-Sprint's network (idk, it's new...)
-iOS5 (you can send cards now... lol)
-twitter integration in the system. My android phone has a whole bunch of integration for a whole bunch of apps from anywhere in the system, including a file explorer/manager...
-iCloud/iTunes Match (meh, I don't need my iPad and phone to have identical files... different uses and all)
-improved notifications (which I read a fanboi say not in jest that Android stole...)
-OTA Backups/updates (cool I guess, have fun with destroying the bandwidth on your wifis/finally)
-Bluetooth 4.0 (for some reason people don't focus on this, and I find it pretty sweet)
Things “we” didn't get:
-bigger screen (seriously 3.5” is tiny! And don't even give me ZOMG POCKET TABLET! 4.3” SGS2 VS iP4:
125.3 X 66.1 X 8.5 mm
115.2 X 58.6 X 9.0 mm
which gives:
10.1 X 7.5 X -0.5 mm
or
1.01X .75 X -.05 cm
and with the whole 2.54 cm/in to put it in terms we know...
1.01/2.54 = a hair above 3/8”
also, that bezel is terribly ugly! It's so big!!!! and yes, that is what she said.... ;])
-more RAM (arguable, would prob help with 1080P recording etc...)
-new design (can go either way I guess, but looking at the same thing for 28 months would drive me bat-shit)
-real 4G (apple is afraid of “bad battery life” yet my 4G LTE Android phone gets the same battery life my iP4 got... seriously)
-NFC (it's not there, just mentioning it... )
-facetime over 3G (guess it could be the carrier's call, but I can skype over 3G...)
Okay, I get it, specs aren't everything, but they do mean something. Also, can I seriously ask what the fuck is so necessary about setting a calendar appointment by using my voice? I mean, Google Voice Search does enough: “Text (name) (message)” and it does, I just have to hit the send button. “weather” google searches what the weather and forecast is, IDGAF that it doesn't bring up some crayola colored weather app, the information is there, that's all it needs. Also, Google's voice search is awesome; pick up an Android phone, hit the voice search button (or long press the search button, seems slightly familiar... =p) and say “Tommy Tutone” It comes up with “Tommy Tutone” not “Tommy Two Tone” or “Tommy Too Tone(/d)”. Seriously is slightly scary how well it works, most of the time... Also, I don't use that feature that much because, well, I'm not living in a Sci-Fi movie, and that shit is gay and pointless. When are you honestly going to use that? Although, I guess, people do bring their iPad2 to concerts to take pictures, so I guess that just shows the douchery of some of these fucktards that buy apple products. Seriously, die. And another thing, the event was called “Let's Talk iPhone!” yet they didn't really talk that much about the iPhone. Maybe 1/3 of it, max, was about the iPhone out of a 1:35 presentation.
And, if you know me, you know that I'm all about Android. Why? I couldn't give you a solid answer, it just works for me. I had the iPhone and got rid of it in a month, traded my 32GB for a beat to shit Incredible and a Xoom and could have not been happier. Even for the Dinc and a little cash I would have been more than happy. The iPhone just didn't do enough for me. Even after jailbreaking, I was so limited in what I could and couldn't do. Apps don't have settings, really, there is no customization to the extent that all your shit is on the home screen or a folder. There is no app drawer. Sure, you can customize some shit when you JB, and ask anyone that was friends with me on facebook when I had it how many times I uploaded a screen grab of my modified version of the lockscreen until I was happy with it. I probably change my set-up once or twice a month on Android, and I can easily make it look cleaner/differentiated from stock set-up. It may not always be as childish to customize/code for, but I can figure it out eventually. I even figured out how to code it to get the weather and date on the bottom of the home screen... Which was cool, I guess. Just wasn't for me. Do I understand that Android is not for everyone? Very much so. To my family, I've recommended 2 iPhones, an Android, and a Blackberry and each of those people couldn't be happier with what they got. Also, this whole thing where people are afraid of not knowing how to use an Android phone or saying that it's impossible to use, tell that to my father who still doesn't know how to turn on the TV he's had since 1996. Seriously, 15 years later.
I was honestly excited for the new iPhone announcement. Even though I wasn't going to get it, it's still exciting to see what else is out there. Also, the iPhone usually sets the bar and then Android phones about catch up in the next year until the iPhone again raises the bar. However much I don't like to admit that, it's how it has been for a while... But this year it was different. I really didn't see anything new/exciting offered other than the camera. The major things I'm referencing to are:
screen: SGS2 LTE HD wins, no questions asked.
Radios: world phone is cool, I guess, but Verizon LTE phones win
processor: same as SGS2 for all intensive purposes and in the next year, iP4S will be blown out of the water
Camera: I can't deny it, iPhone win no questions asked. For me, that's why I have a T3. At least, that's how I shall justify it :p
Maybe Apple's magic spell is finally wearing off? I've been saying for about a year, to my mom, that Apple is falling apart. Nothing to do with Steve (RIP), just in general. My first Apple product was an iMac G3, followed by a powerbook G4, and then two macbooks. (not trying to earn any hipster cred, just saying...) Way back when, Apple was amazing, their computers were leaps and bounds ahead of anything Windows had to offer, and they worked how I wanted a computer to work. The iPad, which I got the day it came out, was amazing! Slowly, though, the awesomeness is wearing off. And even though I was all about Android, I got excited about the iPhone coming to Verizon, finally getting a chance to really use it, see how good it really was. It could be summed up with my feelings for OSX; meh. I'm sure that the original iPhone was amazing compared to the competition, but how Apple goes about business (putting shareholders first, blah blah blah) disgusts me a little. Their lawyers even said (paraphrasing) they don't want Samsung to be able to sell anything because they want to trap people in the iOS ecosystem. That is, offer them a half-assed product they need to spend lots of money on so when they go to upgrade, with all the money that had invested in the platform, they will feel forced to stay with that platform. Look it up if you don't believe me. I'll wait. And, to an extent, the iPhone has been an example of this.
iOS1: Didn't need anything, just awesome for its time...
iOS2: 3G
iOS3: copy and paste and MMS(not even at launch)
iOS4: I think we know what it can do now...
Honestly, they give people enough to hold on that should have already been there before, and they got away with it because they could. Now? People are seemingly not putting up with the BS any more. Probably due to the rate at which other platforms are moving forward. Where has the awesome company that once went ahead, above and beyond, trying new tech gone? You can only get so big before you become the bad guy.
And in slightly related news, Samsung and Google broke my heart this morning by postponing the announcement/demo of ICS and the Galaxy Nexus/Prime/whatever out of respect for Steve Jobs. Also, they didn't want their release to be swallowed by the overabundance of news about his death. Honestly, people are acting like it was their fucking father that died. Stop it. Sure, he had a profound impact on all of our lives, but it's not like nobody saw it coming. Surviving 10 years with pancreatic cancer is a hell of a fight, but he wasn't hit by a truck or something out of the blue. We all knew it was coming. And yea, go ahead, call me insensitive, IDGAF. Also, would Steve have postponed iP4S's announcement had Eric Schmidt died had the tables been turned? You had better say no, because Steve Jobs was one hell of a business man, an amazing leader, but a fucking asshole at the same time. Denied paternity of his first child and had a book written so his children would know "who he was." Seriously? Go fuck yourself. That of course is only the tip of the iceberg, but I don't feel like ranting, i think i may be sick. lol. Whoa, whoa, whoa S dot, Mr. Meezy, have some respect for the dead! Eh, somebody had to say it. Go read Gawker's article, scumbag. (him, not you) And, well, somebody has to say it: The iPhone 4S killed Steve Jobs. Not a negative thing, per se, but he really took pride in his work, and he obviously worked on the iP4S, and it most likely crushed him. When it was met with such a shitty response, a response where people were not happy to be shit on any more, well that was a world SJ did not want to be a part of. 24 hours later, dead. End of story. Call me an asshole, I don't give a single fuck.
sorry i didn't ramble enough, just wasn't feeling it.
Meezius Prime
Friday, October 7, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
I Feel Like A Piece o' Shit... Realization: Self-Worth = 0
So, I've been meaning to put up a new post for a while, I really have (maybe, I can't remember that far back(What? Oh, right, I never specified a time-frame for the wanting of the writing of a new posting...(sh!)))) but I just can't sit down and write, it's not that easy for me, damnit! I mean, I'm not just going to sit down and put out garbage just for a quick laugh. (What? Oh, yea, I do put out garbage, nevermind...) But seriously though, I wish I could just sit down and always have something to write about, I find it very therapeutic to just let out the other half of my schizophrenia come out and play from time to time. So, since we've last spoken, it was May. For the life of me, I have no idea when May was. (You know, other than … good thing I have Asperger (that shit's not funny to joke about) plus 4, carry the 2, divide by zero... uh, 3 months ago...?) I have fallen into this pit of nothingness, a black whole of self-pity and wallowing and other such stuff of the sort, and I don't know how to correct it. No, I'm ain't no gay getting all emotional and other sich weak pussy stuff of the sorts, but I think i'm being honest. For once. To myself. I mean, I'm not bragging at all (totally am, you bitches suck cuz you aint got the shit I do! HAHA! SUCKERS!!!(No, seriously(can I be serious?(IDK)))) but I have really been blessed (not necessarily in the God has provided for me all of these wonderful things kind of way. I mean, I do believe in a higher Being/Power per se, but not quite the image of “God” that the church(es/other denominatorial place things) paints Him out to be, but there is something up there. I mean, fuck, nobody has proven Him to not be there, so according to science and the scientific … uh, theory?, He still technically even exists to science. Funny thing about science, nothing is ever proven true, it just isn't proven false which makes it true. Kinda silly... Yea, that was also my major, and what my degree is all about. A B(ull)S(hit) in Biology. And it is just that, bull shit. Because what the fuck do you do with a science degree? Look at plants, collect bugs, have sex with road-kill, stare into a microscope and watch viruses get it on all day? Or maybe become a nurse and/or doctor and/or something else in the health-care field. Well, sadly, I don't really believe in “health” and “care” in the same sentence, especially the way that it is practiced. It isn't about saving people, well, sure, to an extent I guess it is, but it really isn't. It's a business, a fucking ludicrous, bull-shit business, just like that of the college world. College doesn't really mean shit anymore; the only thing getting a college degree anymore does is no longer allow you to work for a fast food “restaurant” which I wasn't going to do anyway. Oh, it also empties out your pockets. Luckily, I am what some people consider “smart” apparently, yea, I know, I don't see it either, but hey, there's a fool born every minute, so they say! So, I got to go to school without paying for tuition. Hurray! Then, after I went on to Chiro school, well, that wasn't on the, uh, whoever/whatever was paying for my prior schooling, so I have a wee bit of debt from that, nothing major, but debt none-the-less. That's all fine and dandy though, nothing I can't handle with my huge weekly paycheck of $0.00! Oh, right, fuck. Good thing my loan is paid through December 2012 (come on whatever that next thing that is supposed to destroy the planet that's supposed to happen dec '12) and it is deferred even further (I think until March '13 because I took some classes @ the community college round these ways) so IDK if the extra paid off time gets added after March 2013, or whatever, not like it really matters anyway, but yea, fuck! So, yea, what a horrible idea Chiro school was, well, kind of, with the whole money I owe them for “nothing” kinda deal. Also for picking Biology in general as my major. But well, at one time in my life I actually wasn't the cynical asshole whose blog you read every so often, and I actually cared about people and wanted to help them. I know, I know, what was I thinking? Well, I'm not really sure, to be completely honest. (Partly due to the fact that I can't even remember to what the point of this blog was, and i've only been typing for like 20 mins max. A squirrel would beat me in a game of memory for the sake of fuck!) But well, no, kinda, idk. I mean, I was always strong in Math and Science, and well, I wasn't about to be a Mathematician (whatever it is they do, other than add stuff together for fun, which it is!) so I figured I would be a Scientologist. (What? Oh, right, sorry, scientist.) But, when you're like me (aside from crazy) and don't believe in medicine, in general, as a whole, even, possibly, well, your options for helping people are limited. At first I was thinking about doing therapeutic rec or occupational therapy. (I say or because currently don't remember which one, they're practically one in the same anyway!) Both are cool, I guess, in their own right, and I've always been an active dude (until recent, that is, whatever) but I mean, I'm better than that. No, I know, i'm not trying to belittle what they do at all, but honestly, I am. Everyone has a place, and that wasn't for me. So, I reached a little higher, dug a little deeper into my brain. New answer to the question: Chiropractor! Long story short, a chiropractor pretty much “saved” my life. No, I wasn't dying of a neuropraxia, but my back was injured quite badly in an unfortunate turn of events which I will disclose to you now.
It was a warm Summer night, the bees were chirping and the birds were buzzing. Lightning bugs lit up the path to the lake. I had traveled it so many times that I could do it with my eyes closed, but it was a magnificent sight to see even so. You would have loved it! Had I said, “Hey (insert your name here), come meet me at the lake tonight!” Your obvious reply would have been, “But I don't know how to get there.” To which my answer could have been, “Just follow the path set forth by the lightning bugs, they will lead you to me, into my arms.” (I hope you're a hot chic, because if not, that might be slightly homosexual...(also to note, why the fuck are they called lightning bugs?! Seriously, they do not look like lightning at all. Like even the slightest. They are a tiny floating green flashing orb. Maybe gay disco bug or something, not lightning bug. Lightning is so manly and destructive, and lightning bugs are, well, gay as fuck. Yea, I said it, but I know everyone was thinking it, and if you weren't, well you were once I said it. I win!) But, I digress. The air was warm, still and calm, there had been a storm earlier that day which had taken the abrasive humidity with it. I had just received great news earlier in the day, and was feeling absolutely terrific. With my lightened mood, I decided to climb up the hill on the one side of the lake, to where the rope swing was, and swing off over the water, letting go of the rope just past the middle point of the arc. Well, as it turns out, the good news did not affect my luck in any way, and quite possibly made it worse. After applying a heavy layer of moon-screen on my exposed skin, so as to not turn into a werewolf, my hands were too slippery to hold onto the rope! I even climbed to the tree behind the swing, which on a branch halfway up the tree, was a perfect launching point for the swing. I had never been brave enough before to do such a silly thing, and to this day I still wonder why I did it, and have been unable to come up with any logical reason to this day. So, from the middle branch of the tree, I swoop down like a falcon attacking my prey, only to realize that I forgot the rope! I was holding onto a balloon string that had gotten stuck in the tree from the party the night before, and as soon as my legs left the safety of the branch, I knew I was going to be in for a world of hurt. Down I go, straight to the ground, like a bag of bricks, tumbling over and over like a ball rolling down a hill, and I quickly noticed that I was not slowing down one bit. I was actually picking up speed! How is this possible? Why am I not slowing down? What is happening? Is today Tuesday or Wednesday? Never mind, it's Friday. All of these thoughts kept running through my mind until I felt myself soaring, stuck in a free-fall for what felt like an eternity after I rolled off the edge of the cliff. Well, I thought, at least the water will break my fall a little more gently than the rocky terrain of the hill. I could not have been more wrong! As it turns out, there was a group of teenagers drinking on a boat they had stolen from the marina, and were parked, I guess it would be called, anchored possibly, directly underneath the cliff so the noise they made would bounce away from the direction of where the houses on the lake were. I fell flat on my back directly onto the hull of the boat, and the last thing I remember was the sound my body made, apparently Hollywood sound effects are more realistic than I had once thought! I came to, for a brief instance when I heard the teens trying to decide what to do with my body. What to do with my body?! Call 911! But my mouth could not form words, and no matter how hard my brain was screaming it, they could not hear me. Back to darkness. I came to again, as they were pushing my body off of the boat, my brain still unable to force my mouth to do anything, I was helpless. Well, as they were pushing me off, they must have also been reeling the anchor in, to get away and clean up the mess I had made, no doubt, as quickly as possible, because when I finally awoke, I was on my side, floating in thin air, with an anchor going directly through my spine! Long story short, chiropractor. (I'm quite anticlimactic lately... :\)
Real story, not as cool: soccer, tripped from behind, tumbled, ground shook apparently, couldn't move for three days, chiro, success. But whatever, a chiropractor had a huge impact on my life, and I have been going to one ever since, even if I'm not in pain, because it just works. And yea, it's scary at first, but nothing bad is going to happen, I promise you! (Back to wallowing) Okay, well, I wasn't the only one making my mind up as to becoming a chiro, and there were outside factors involved too (3+1 program would get me “out” of undergrad after my 4th yr after swapping majors after 2... yea, smooth as hell moves...) and, everyone around me was pushing me to be the best I could be (shocking they didn't tell me to join the army, or whatever has that slogan). And yea, as I said before, I was selling myself short, going with the premise of biology/science/”medicine” being my focus of study. Looking back, I kind of feel like I really didn't actually make that decision, but it was made for me. I also think my life hasn't been my own, i've been too worried trying to please other people and do what they think is right. Well, i'm sick of it. It's my fucking life, and I'm going to take control of it starting.... sometime. I have no money to go out on my own, no job, and no real “skills” (unless awesomeness is a skill that is useful in the workplace). And realizing this is just making me feel like a bigger bag of shit than my as-of-late-depressed-self has been, sw33t, so I'm going to leave this here. Lesson learned: put yourself first, listen to others with more knowledge, but in the end, it is your life. People can try and guide you, but don't follow their advice, listen to it, think about it, and realize whether or not it's what you want for you, not to make others happy. You only get one life, have fun, and live it how you want to, don't worry about what other people think/say.
Peace!
essdot
It was a warm Summer night, the bees were chirping and the birds were buzzing. Lightning bugs lit up the path to the lake. I had traveled it so many times that I could do it with my eyes closed, but it was a magnificent sight to see even so. You would have loved it! Had I said, “Hey (insert your name here), come meet me at the lake tonight!” Your obvious reply would have been, “But I don't know how to get there.” To which my answer could have been, “Just follow the path set forth by the lightning bugs, they will lead you to me, into my arms.” (I hope you're a hot chic, because if not, that might be slightly homosexual...(also to note, why the fuck are they called lightning bugs?! Seriously, they do not look like lightning at all. Like even the slightest. They are a tiny floating green flashing orb. Maybe gay disco bug or something, not lightning bug. Lightning is so manly and destructive, and lightning bugs are, well, gay as fuck. Yea, I said it, but I know everyone was thinking it, and if you weren't, well you were once I said it. I win!) But, I digress. The air was warm, still and calm, there had been a storm earlier that day which had taken the abrasive humidity with it. I had just received great news earlier in the day, and was feeling absolutely terrific. With my lightened mood, I decided to climb up the hill on the one side of the lake, to where the rope swing was, and swing off over the water, letting go of the rope just past the middle point of the arc. Well, as it turns out, the good news did not affect my luck in any way, and quite possibly made it worse. After applying a heavy layer of moon-screen on my exposed skin, so as to not turn into a werewolf, my hands were too slippery to hold onto the rope! I even climbed to the tree behind the swing, which on a branch halfway up the tree, was a perfect launching point for the swing. I had never been brave enough before to do such a silly thing, and to this day I still wonder why I did it, and have been unable to come up with any logical reason to this day. So, from the middle branch of the tree, I swoop down like a falcon attacking my prey, only to realize that I forgot the rope! I was holding onto a balloon string that had gotten stuck in the tree from the party the night before, and as soon as my legs left the safety of the branch, I knew I was going to be in for a world of hurt. Down I go, straight to the ground, like a bag of bricks, tumbling over and over like a ball rolling down a hill, and I quickly noticed that I was not slowing down one bit. I was actually picking up speed! How is this possible? Why am I not slowing down? What is happening? Is today Tuesday or Wednesday? Never mind, it's Friday. All of these thoughts kept running through my mind until I felt myself soaring, stuck in a free-fall for what felt like an eternity after I rolled off the edge of the cliff. Well, I thought, at least the water will break my fall a little more gently than the rocky terrain of the hill. I could not have been more wrong! As it turns out, there was a group of teenagers drinking on a boat they had stolen from the marina, and were parked, I guess it would be called, anchored possibly, directly underneath the cliff so the noise they made would bounce away from the direction of where the houses on the lake were. I fell flat on my back directly onto the hull of the boat, and the last thing I remember was the sound my body made, apparently Hollywood sound effects are more realistic than I had once thought! I came to, for a brief instance when I heard the teens trying to decide what to do with my body. What to do with my body?! Call 911! But my mouth could not form words, and no matter how hard my brain was screaming it, they could not hear me. Back to darkness. I came to again, as they were pushing my body off of the boat, my brain still unable to force my mouth to do anything, I was helpless. Well, as they were pushing me off, they must have also been reeling the anchor in, to get away and clean up the mess I had made, no doubt, as quickly as possible, because when I finally awoke, I was on my side, floating in thin air, with an anchor going directly through my spine! Long story short, chiropractor. (I'm quite anticlimactic lately... :\)
Real story, not as cool: soccer, tripped from behind, tumbled, ground shook apparently, couldn't move for three days, chiro, success. But whatever, a chiropractor had a huge impact on my life, and I have been going to one ever since, even if I'm not in pain, because it just works. And yea, it's scary at first, but nothing bad is going to happen, I promise you! (Back to wallowing) Okay, well, I wasn't the only one making my mind up as to becoming a chiro, and there were outside factors involved too (3+1 program would get me “out” of undergrad after my 4th yr after swapping majors after 2... yea, smooth as hell moves...) and, everyone around me was pushing me to be the best I could be (shocking they didn't tell me to join the army, or whatever has that slogan). And yea, as I said before, I was selling myself short, going with the premise of biology/science/”medicine” being my focus of study. Looking back, I kind of feel like I really didn't actually make that decision, but it was made for me. I also think my life hasn't been my own, i've been too worried trying to please other people and do what they think is right. Well, i'm sick of it. It's my fucking life, and I'm going to take control of it starting.... sometime. I have no money to go out on my own, no job, and no real “skills” (unless awesomeness is a skill that is useful in the workplace). And realizing this is just making me feel like a bigger bag of shit than my as-of-late-depressed-self has been, sw33t, so I'm going to leave this here. Lesson learned: put yourself first, listen to others with more knowledge, but in the end, it is your life. People can try and guide you, but don't follow their advice, listen to it, think about it, and realize whether or not it's what you want for you, not to make others happy. You only get one life, have fun, and live it how you want to, don't worry about what other people think/say.
Peace!
essdot
Use you brain, that's why you have one!
I'll give you this first, because it's huge, drawn-out, and boring. Unless you find arbitrary information about cell phones interesting and/or have a hatred for Apple as I do.
TL;DR
just because two things happen at the same time doesn't mean they are related
I hate Apple, I hate idiots, and the two seem to find each other
I've officially had enough, I'm beyond mad, and I only (partially) have myself to blame. Apple is slowly falling out of the spotlight, and I'm actually slightly concerned about this. Okay, slightly may be a bit of an understatement, and well, they haven't actually fallen out of anything because of irrelevant posts made in order to further hype up a dying fad. Yes, the iPhone is a fad, I said it, but I digress. I have myself to partially blame, because I was scrolling through Pulse and saw the article again, and wanted to shoot someone, a lot. Recently, Wednesday, August 17, a site on the top of my 54!7 list (why do I even bother going there anymore, seriously?), AppleInsider (the same site that included iPads in its “study” to make Apple out to be the “Top Mobile PC Vendor”... yes, iPad is apparently a portable computer, now... ), posted an article stating Verizon's market share of Android phones in the United States is “down dramatically” following the iPhone 4 launch. It goes on to further state that this “dramatic” “erosion” is due to the fact that the iPhone is now available on Verizon. A study that compares every Android phone (only!) based on ad views and categorizes the total Android phones based on carrier to show which U.S. carrier has what percentage of the Android sales/usage/market in America. How can this study of only Android phones say anything about the iPhone? An excellent question! You must go further, and take two more irrelevant pieces of information into account for this to even slightly start to make sense, which it still fails to do, if you have one-fifth of one half of a brain. Irrelevant info 1: Verizon finally launched its iPhone in February of this year. Irrelevant info 2: Verizon, according to ad views and this Chitika whatever, currently has ~24% of the U.S. iPhone market share. While we're at it, I'll add something for you, because well, it actually is relevant. Verizon launched the pre-order for the iPhone 4 at midnight on February 3, 2011, via online sales. I was there, and I was one of the idiots that stayed up late to pre-order the device to get it before it was available in stores, the following week. So, the first study by Chitika (I apologize if I make it the banana company by the end of the post, you'll understand, I hope...) was done at the end of March, arguably two months after the iPhone was released on Verizon, and Verizon had 51.418% of all the Android phones in the United States activated on its network. Another interesting fact: online pre-orders were apparently ridiculous for the iPhone, and in-store sales were less than stellar. On February 23rd, Chitika released a statement saying that after (the iPhone) being on Verizon for two weeks, Android's overall impressions across Chitika's network had actually risen! (spoiler alert: 500,000+ activations daily will do that. Yes, worldwide vs. U.S., but still...) (The article from feb) However interesting, this has little to do with the topic at hand, but still interesting none-the-less. But, further into the article, the end result is that the vPhone is taking away from everthing BUT Android; i.e. webOS (RIP), Blackberry, Windows Phone 7 (somehow, not really sure about that one) and the AT&T iPhone. Back to the point at hand: Verizon's U.S. share of the Android market has dropped since the iPhone came to Verizon. Before the iPhone was released on Verizon, AT&T didn't have to do anything to sell phones, and once Verizon was to offer this phone, they had to do something. Please, do tell me ONE Android phone on AT&T that was worth buying before February. I'll tell me for you; you can't. Another thing to keep in mind: Sprint and T-Mobile's share of the Android market in the U.S. has stayed the same, so we will ignore them for this discussion. Note (whatever I'm up to): US Cellular, MetroPCS, and Virgin Mobile had ~%2.5 of all US Android phones in March and are now up to 8.4%, including whatever other carriers are out there besides the big 4, but I can't really remember any phone they would have had, I assume it to be a variant of the Samsung Galaxy line, possibly an HTC desire, an even possibly the LG Optimus, although I'm not really sure when that came out. All of these other now dime-a-dozen $50 all-you-can-eat pre-paid plans which are now popular due to the fact that money is very tight for many people have added decent Android phones to their arsenals and are now advertising to that fact. Why would cheap cell phone plans take some of the wind away from arguably the most expensive plans in the country? OK, OK, I get it, all of my focus thus far has been on negating the veracity of the ridiculousness that is that post, but what about the other side? Am I stating with 100% certaintude that the iPhone has taken ZERO customers away from Android? No, not at all, I'm sure that people who had an Android phone have since gone to the iPhone because they do not like, understand, or easily use Android. And this next thought can go both ways (I guess it's bithoughtual); think about the popular Android phones on big V. Think about which ones are/were popular. The original adopters were going for the OG, November 2009, which means they are due for an NE2 (their last, at that, f'ing scumbags at Verizon) and I'm sure some of them have switched over to iOS. Next up, we have all of last Summer, a huge time for Android on Verizon. The Incredible, the X, the D2, the Fascinate, all HUGE phones. They are not due for an upgrade any time soon, well, maybe some with their last yearly upgrade on a primary line, but for the most part, I don't think anybody really knows about and/or uses that perk, so we'll call that non-existent(that and it no longer exists any more, but these people last Summer would be able to enjoy this “perk” one more time). Many people are not due for an upgrade, so I'm sure many people, instead of paying 600-700 smackeroos for a shiny new iPhone, are waiting out their stay with Android until they can get it at that sweet, sweet discounted price of 200-300$, right before and around next Summer. Apparently normal people keep the phone they get until they are due for an upgrade, silly people. So the only POSSIBLE way that anyone could be leaving a Verizon Android to go to iOS is if A) they had an OG Droid or B) they are paying full retail for an iPhone. Neither seems too likely, the breakdown: A) after 2 years with something, you get it, and if you get Android, you love it. B) I'm the only person on Earth that cares that much about phones that I buy a new one whenever a shinier one comes out (I've had the Storm, Evo, Glyde (?), Droid 2, iPhone, Incredible, and Revolution all in the past 12 months...and I can't wait until HOPEFULLY the Nexus phone finally comes to Verizon, hopefully). Next possibility, not necessarily leaving Android for iPhone, but going with iPhone over Android now that they have the option. Okay, possible, smartphones are more and more popular, and everyone is getting one. If there were no iPhone, people would be more than likely to grab an Android phone (WP7's only verizon offering is garbage, webOS isn't a contender, really, and well, Blackberry, lulz), but that isn't really taking away from Android, as the article implies. These massive increases to the ViPhone's army could be mostly first time smartphone buyers technically taking away from the Android user base, but again, not leaving as implied. A question for you; just because Verizon's overall percent is down, does that mean that the total number of users isn't up? We're just working off of percentages here, no numbers to show one way or the other. Isn't it logical to assume that this is a possibility? Not if you're trying to spin the Apple Hype Machine. I mean, logically, take 3 seconds to think, could all providers theoretically be up, just Verizon not growing as much as the others? But then you have the whole weird T-Mob and Sprint staying at about the same number, which makes that weird, but still possible.
Lets wrap this up, for I grow tired of this discussion:
Am I saying that not a single one person has left a Verizon branded Android device for a Verizon branded iPhone? Not in the slightest. What I am saying is that people need to stop allowing people to feed them information, and when told something, step back, and think about it for 5 seconds. You have a brain, use it. This is probably the reason why iOS is so popular, because people don't know how to use their brains, and well, luckily you don't need one to operate iOS. Kind of anti-climactic, isn't it? I had it all planned out to be all “POW!” but it didn't seem to come to that, because, common sense and knowledge are rarely exciting. You don't have to agree with me, it's my opinion based on the larger picture, just please, promise me you'll use your brain next time...
peace kiddies
SMIL
TL;DR
just because two things happen at the same time doesn't mean they are related
I hate Apple, I hate idiots, and the two seem to find each other
I've officially had enough, I'm beyond mad, and I only (partially) have myself to blame. Apple is slowly falling out of the spotlight, and I'm actually slightly concerned about this. Okay, slightly may be a bit of an understatement, and well, they haven't actually fallen out of anything because of irrelevant posts made in order to further hype up a dying fad. Yes, the iPhone is a fad, I said it, but I digress. I have myself to partially blame, because I was scrolling through Pulse and saw the article again, and wanted to shoot someone, a lot. Recently, Wednesday, August 17, a site on the top of my 54!7 list (why do I even bother going there anymore, seriously?), AppleInsider (the same site that included iPads in its “study” to make Apple out to be the “Top Mobile PC Vendor”... yes, iPad is apparently a portable computer, now... ), posted an article stating Verizon's market share of Android phones in the United States is “down dramatically” following the iPhone 4 launch. It goes on to further state that this “dramatic” “erosion” is due to the fact that the iPhone is now available on Verizon. A study that compares every Android phone (only!) based on ad views and categorizes the total Android phones based on carrier to show which U.S. carrier has what percentage of the Android sales/usage/market in America. How can this study of only Android phones say anything about the iPhone? An excellent question! You must go further, and take two more irrelevant pieces of information into account for this to even slightly start to make sense, which it still fails to do, if you have one-fifth of one half of a brain. Irrelevant info 1: Verizon finally launched its iPhone in February of this year. Irrelevant info 2: Verizon, according to ad views and this Chitika whatever, currently has ~24% of the U.S. iPhone market share. While we're at it, I'll add something for you, because well, it actually is relevant. Verizon launched the pre-order for the iPhone 4 at midnight on February 3, 2011, via online sales. I was there, and I was one of the idiots that stayed up late to pre-order the device to get it before it was available in stores, the following week. So, the first study by Chitika (I apologize if I make it the banana company by the end of the post, you'll understand, I hope...) was done at the end of March, arguably two months after the iPhone was released on Verizon, and Verizon had 51.418% of all the Android phones in the United States activated on its network. Another interesting fact: online pre-orders were apparently ridiculous for the iPhone, and in-store sales were less than stellar. On February 23rd, Chitika released a statement saying that after (the iPhone) being on Verizon for two weeks, Android's overall impressions across Chitika's network had actually risen! (spoiler alert: 500,000+ activations daily will do that. Yes, worldwide vs. U.S., but still...) (The article from feb) However interesting, this has little to do with the topic at hand, but still interesting none-the-less. But, further into the article, the end result is that the vPhone is taking away from everthing BUT Android; i.e. webOS (RIP), Blackberry, Windows Phone 7 (somehow, not really sure about that one) and the AT&T iPhone. Back to the point at hand: Verizon's U.S. share of the Android market has dropped since the iPhone came to Verizon. Before the iPhone was released on Verizon, AT&T didn't have to do anything to sell phones, and once Verizon was to offer this phone, they had to do something. Please, do tell me ONE Android phone on AT&T that was worth buying before February. I'll tell me for you; you can't. Another thing to keep in mind: Sprint and T-Mobile's share of the Android market in the U.S. has stayed the same, so we will ignore them for this discussion. Note (whatever I'm up to): US Cellular, MetroPCS, and Virgin Mobile had ~%2.5 of all US Android phones in March and are now up to 8.4%, including whatever other carriers are out there besides the big 4, but I can't really remember any phone they would have had, I assume it to be a variant of the Samsung Galaxy line, possibly an HTC desire, an even possibly the LG Optimus, although I'm not really sure when that came out. All of these other now dime-a-dozen $50 all-you-can-eat pre-paid plans which are now popular due to the fact that money is very tight for many people have added decent Android phones to their arsenals and are now advertising to that fact. Why would cheap cell phone plans take some of the wind away from arguably the most expensive plans in the country? OK, OK, I get it, all of my focus thus far has been on negating the veracity of the ridiculousness that is that post, but what about the other side? Am I stating with 100% certaintude that the iPhone has taken ZERO customers away from Android? No, not at all, I'm sure that people who had an Android phone have since gone to the iPhone because they do not like, understand, or easily use Android. And this next thought can go both ways (I guess it's bithoughtual); think about the popular Android phones on big V. Think about which ones are/were popular. The original adopters were going for the OG, November 2009, which means they are due for an NE2 (their last, at that, f'ing scumbags at Verizon) and I'm sure some of them have switched over to iOS. Next up, we have all of last Summer, a huge time for Android on Verizon. The Incredible, the X, the D2, the Fascinate, all HUGE phones. They are not due for an upgrade any time soon, well, maybe some with their last yearly upgrade on a primary line, but for the most part, I don't think anybody really knows about and/or uses that perk, so we'll call that non-existent(that and it no longer exists any more, but these people last Summer would be able to enjoy this “perk” one more time). Many people are not due for an upgrade, so I'm sure many people, instead of paying 600-700 smackeroos for a shiny new iPhone, are waiting out their stay with Android until they can get it at that sweet, sweet discounted price of 200-300$, right before and around next Summer. Apparently normal people keep the phone they get until they are due for an upgrade, silly people. So the only POSSIBLE way that anyone could be leaving a Verizon Android to go to iOS is if A) they had an OG Droid or B) they are paying full retail for an iPhone. Neither seems too likely, the breakdown: A) after 2 years with something, you get it, and if you get Android, you love it. B) I'm the only person on Earth that cares that much about phones that I buy a new one whenever a shinier one comes out (I've had the Storm, Evo, Glyde (?), Droid 2, iPhone, Incredible, and Revolution all in the past 12 months...and I can't wait until HOPEFULLY the Nexus phone finally comes to Verizon, hopefully). Next possibility, not necessarily leaving Android for iPhone, but going with iPhone over Android now that they have the option. Okay, possible, smartphones are more and more popular, and everyone is getting one. If there were no iPhone, people would be more than likely to grab an Android phone (WP7's only verizon offering is garbage, webOS isn't a contender, really, and well, Blackberry, lulz), but that isn't really taking away from Android, as the article implies. These massive increases to the ViPhone's army could be mostly first time smartphone buyers technically taking away from the Android user base, but again, not leaving as implied. A question for you; just because Verizon's overall percent is down, does that mean that the total number of users isn't up? We're just working off of percentages here, no numbers to show one way or the other. Isn't it logical to assume that this is a possibility? Not if you're trying to spin the Apple Hype Machine. I mean, logically, take 3 seconds to think, could all providers theoretically be up, just Verizon not growing as much as the others? But then you have the whole weird T-Mob and Sprint staying at about the same number, which makes that weird, but still possible.
Lets wrap this up, for I grow tired of this discussion:
Am I saying that not a single one person has left a Verizon branded Android device for a Verizon branded iPhone? Not in the slightest. What I am saying is that people need to stop allowing people to feed them information, and when told something, step back, and think about it for 5 seconds. You have a brain, use it. This is probably the reason why iOS is so popular, because people don't know how to use their brains, and well, luckily you don't need one to operate iOS. Kind of anti-climactic, isn't it? I had it all planned out to be all “POW!” but it didn't seem to come to that, because, common sense and knowledge are rarely exciting. You don't have to agree with me, it's my opinion based on the larger picture, just please, promise me you'll use your brain next time...
peace kiddies
SMIL
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
U.S.A.!
Preface: Two links are embedded in the text throughout, click both, enjoy.
So, it has been quite some time since I've sat down at my computer (no it hasn't, actually, I'm pretty much on it every day(wait, thinking about it, how does one “sit down” “at” anything?(am I just silly for thinking that?(I think I am(well, anyway, fuck you(you know what I meant, whether or not I know what I meant...))))))) (Also, once again, don't actually care to count how many parenthesis (parentesi?(does that word work like dice?)) are needed there, so, you can count and get back to me and I won't do shit about it :] ) and written anything for my “blog,” if it could even be called that. More like, uh, I swear I had something for that... (Archer anyone?) But in all honesty, I didn't have shit for it, because, if you couldn't tell from my lack of writing, that I'm just not that damn creative! And to steal something from Archer, to cover up the fact that I didn't have shit to say? Well, I think you get the picture, and if you don't, um, maybe check your spam mail folder. But at least I came clean and let you fuckers know whatever it was that I let you know, because i'm that awesome! Also to note, sorry in advance, but OpenOffice currently isn't spell-checking (maybe I just have to turn it on(well, more-so spell-correcting(auto-correcting?(whatever)))) so, all of these mistakes you see, I didn't do them, my document creator/editor didn't undo them. Hence, not my fault, technology's... :p (yes, I just threw an “emoticon” into a “blog” entry...(blog...(haha(idk y that word is funny, but it is.(ok?(Shit!)))))) So anyway, a quick recap of what i've been up to since we've last spoken. Well, since you've last “listened” (with your eyes, maybe) to what i've rambled about (non-sense and bull-shit). I wonder when my last post even was, time for me to go check. I'll brb. (hope this isn't a horror movie, bc I may die for saying that... Good thing I'm a virgin tho, so that evens it out right? I mean honestly, who would want to have sex with me?! A three-week-old embryo has a more developed brain than I do for fuck's sake(for the sake of fuck(fitting that “saying(?)” should go there...))) Anyway, insert elevator music.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. So, I didn't actually leave yet, forgot I had to actually go and check when the last post I put up was, so re-insert (lol) elevator music now~! Sorry that took so long, I saw something shiny and got distracted. Also, something awesome happened. I just forget what it was. Maybe i'll remember (make something up) later. Alright so, holy shit, it has been way too long since i've written a post! Why have none of you yelled at me to get back on my grind!?!? Do I mean that little to you?! Meh, I mean that little to me too, it's all good. Still friends? Sweet :) Anyway, so June 23, 2010 was my last post. Wow. I don't even remember that far ago, seriously. Not a fucking clue when that even was. No, you douche, I understand what a date means, I was saying that I don't remember when-abouts in my life happenings that was. Let My People Go!!!!! Everybody go to amazon.com and download Pharoah Monch – Let My People Go. It's free, and a negro spiritual, and did I mention that it doesn't cost anything? Just checkin, calm the EFF down mang! Speaking of songs, I don't remember when, exactly, but I hear this one song not too long ago, and for the life of me cannot figure out what the fuck it is!!! You would think it would be mad easy (,yo ;]) to find the name of a song with the recent invention of the OH MY GOD THESE GLADE GARBAGE BAGS SMELL AMAZING Internetz that stuff like this would be easy to do, but nope! Fucking gay-holes. Kinda like an a-hole, but with AIDS, because if the 80s taught us anything, it's that only gay people get AIDS. Too soon? Or was that the 70s? Maybe even the 60s...? Wish there were some way to check on this, because I am oh-so-worried about being PuC. No, dumbass, not personal computer, although that would be sweet if I were a computer, politically un-correct. Yes, that is(n't) the actual term, I checked on such amazingly truthful sites as Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary. (I really didn't, but if you want, I will go and add them to both so my previous story holds water, was just hoping nobody would go checking my sources...(lazy, this guy)) but seriously, so I recorded it onto my phone, which sounds GOD-AWFUL (ps) and uploaded it to my dropbox for you to DL and find for me. In return, I will repay you with seven Internetz! Seriously, I know you don't actually care, and it's not really the coolest song ever, i'll be the third person to admit it, but c'mon! I mean, seriously, honestly sounds like CeeLo in the “hook” or “chorus” or whatever black people be callin it dese days, yo, word, homie. Also to note, Guinness is delicious. But seriously, its in 3GPP format, whatever that means, and only seems to wanna work in QuickTime, so if you don't have that, don't make an excuse, I told you how to listen to it, so DL it and find it, and get back to me! And tell me if you think the next song was Men In Black, because I totes think it was. Lulz, for real tho, 100.
DL LINK
So, where was I? Right, June 2010. Wait, that isn't a location, that's a date, so... Wrong! Where was I in June 2010? Damnit, Guinness + fridge = so far away... ugh. Wow, holy sheeple, Batman, where the fuck has the past year (yea, I know, almost year, I got it...) gone?! And I'm almost certain when I say that I have not accomplished a one single thing in the past ~10 months. How truly depressing, really. I need to do something, anything, open to suggestions! Hmmm... Let's see. I beat Assassin's Creed II (at 89% done, not gonna finish looking for all the little BS, such as finding 55 more feathers throughout 8 million miles of old Italy, along with treasure boxes and the likes), I got a Netflix account (not really an accomplishment, but that's how deep I have to dig...) Which, by the way, is awesome! All of the god-awful, how-were-they-ever-made movies that are just so bad that you have to like them... Horrible movies are by far the best movies ever! Latest, greatest movie ever being: Someone's Knocking at the Door.
Please watch the trailer and tell me you don't want to watch it... I'll wait...
Fucking brilliant, awesome, amazing, all that is good, etc ad infinitum. Please go out and watch it, tell all your friends, because I need whoever wrote that to make about 1 million more movies to make my life complete! Please, seriously, watch this movie! And any other awesome(ly terrible) movie suggestions, please send them my way. I plowed a lot over the winter, pops Dled a virus onto his computer and I had to re-enter a whole years worth of data for both of his businesses which took probably 20 something hours, not fun at all, speaking of which, I should prob get on the continuing of the doing of that... and other than the random assortment of live professional sporting events, OH MY GOD! SPEAKING OF WHICH, OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!! No, that's not actually a sport, don't know how it would be, but, well, also, I don't want to get into this whole “WOO HE'S DEAD!” stuff. Yea, I guess, he got what he deserved, and that's cool and all, but, I don't think that it is something to get excited about, and it's horrible, meh. Something about wishing/praising someone's death and “Karma.” But my writings ain't about none a that there pussy intergalactic space travel, interdimensionary intertwinement of all spirits as one, and it definitely isn't no ding-dang-dong political mumbo-jumbo so that will be the end of that garbage. But, yea, no, so Osamabama, sports eventing, hmmmm... Oh right! May 1st, whence we all found out about dude dying, and if you were watching the Mets Phillies game, you would have heard the USA chant... Franco Unamerican (aka Francis Hadley, my bros friend, even tho he was in my grade... yea, answer me that one... lol) started that m'f chant, in the asshole section, 302. And yes, i'm proud of that fact. Haha. Awesome. I'm tired, and I feel like I should leave you with something to do/read, so i'll leave this here, hopefully I find some inspiration and can write about something and make it better soon. Peace outs.
So, it has been quite some time since I've sat down at my computer (no it hasn't, actually, I'm pretty much on it every day(wait, thinking about it, how does one “sit down” “at” anything?(am I just silly for thinking that?(I think I am(well, anyway, fuck you(you know what I meant, whether or not I know what I meant...))))))) (Also, once again, don't actually care to count how many parenthesis (parentesi?(does that word work like dice?)) are needed there, so, you can count and get back to me and I won't do shit about it :] ) and written anything for my “blog,” if it could even be called that. More like, uh, I swear I had something for that... (Archer anyone?) But in all honesty, I didn't have shit for it, because, if you couldn't tell from my lack of writing, that I'm just not that damn creative! And to steal something from Archer, to cover up the fact that I didn't have shit to say? Well, I think you get the picture, and if you don't, um, maybe check your spam mail folder. But at least I came clean and let you fuckers know whatever it was that I let you know, because i'm that awesome! Also to note, sorry in advance, but OpenOffice currently isn't spell-checking (maybe I just have to turn it on(well, more-so spell-correcting(auto-correcting?(whatever)))) so, all of these mistakes you see, I didn't do them, my document creator/editor didn't undo them. Hence, not my fault, technology's... :p (yes, I just threw an “emoticon” into a “blog” entry...(blog...(haha(idk y that word is funny, but it is.(ok?(Shit!)))))) So anyway, a quick recap of what i've been up to since we've last spoken. Well, since you've last “listened” (with your eyes, maybe) to what i've rambled about (non-sense and bull-shit). I wonder when my last post even was, time for me to go check. I'll brb. (hope this isn't a horror movie, bc I may die for saying that... Good thing I'm a virgin tho, so that evens it out right? I mean honestly, who would want to have sex with me?! A three-week-old embryo has a more developed brain than I do for fuck's sake(for the sake of fuck(fitting that “saying(?)” should go there...))) Anyway, insert elevator music.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. So, I didn't actually leave yet, forgot I had to actually go and check when the last post I put up was, so re-insert (lol) elevator music now~! Sorry that took so long, I saw something shiny and got distracted. Also, something awesome happened. I just forget what it was. Maybe i'll remember (make something up) later. Alright so, holy shit, it has been way too long since i've written a post! Why have none of you yelled at me to get back on my grind!?!? Do I mean that little to you?! Meh, I mean that little to me too, it's all good. Still friends? Sweet :) Anyway, so June 23, 2010 was my last post. Wow. I don't even remember that far ago, seriously. Not a fucking clue when that even was. No, you douche, I understand what a date means, I was saying that I don't remember when-abouts in my life happenings that was. Let My People Go!!!!! Everybody go to amazon.com and download Pharoah Monch – Let My People Go. It's free, and a negro spiritual, and did I mention that it doesn't cost anything? Just checkin, calm the EFF down mang! Speaking of songs, I don't remember when, exactly, but I hear this one song not too long ago, and for the life of me cannot figure out what the fuck it is!!! You would think it would be mad easy (,yo ;]) to find the name of a song with the recent invention of the OH MY GOD THESE GLADE GARBAGE BAGS SMELL AMAZING Internetz that stuff like this would be easy to do, but nope! Fucking gay-holes. Kinda like an a-hole, but with AIDS, because if the 80s taught us anything, it's that only gay people get AIDS. Too soon? Or was that the 70s? Maybe even the 60s...? Wish there were some way to check on this, because I am oh-so-worried about being PuC. No, dumbass, not personal computer, although that would be sweet if I were a computer, politically un-correct. Yes, that is(n't) the actual term, I checked on such amazingly truthful sites as Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary. (I really didn't, but if you want, I will go and add them to both so my previous story holds water, was just hoping nobody would go checking my sources...(lazy, this guy)) but seriously, so I recorded it onto my phone, which sounds GOD-AWFUL (ps) and uploaded it to my dropbox for you to DL and find for me. In return, I will repay you with seven Internetz! Seriously, I know you don't actually care, and it's not really the coolest song ever, i'll be the third person to admit it, but c'mon! I mean, seriously, honestly sounds like CeeLo in the “hook” or “chorus” or whatever black people be callin it dese days, yo, word, homie. Also to note, Guinness is delicious. But seriously, its in 3GPP format, whatever that means, and only seems to wanna work in QuickTime, so if you don't have that, don't make an excuse, I told you how to listen to it, so DL it and find it, and get back to me! And tell me if you think the next song was Men In Black, because I totes think it was. Lulz, for real tho, 100.
DL LINK
So, where was I? Right, June 2010. Wait, that isn't a location, that's a date, so... Wrong! Where was I in June 2010? Damnit, Guinness + fridge = so far away... ugh. Wow, holy sheeple, Batman, where the fuck has the past year (yea, I know, almost year, I got it...) gone?! And I'm almost certain when I say that I have not accomplished a one single thing in the past ~10 months. How truly depressing, really. I need to do something, anything, open to suggestions! Hmmm... Let's see. I beat Assassin's Creed II (at 89% done, not gonna finish looking for all the little BS, such as finding 55 more feathers throughout 8 million miles of old Italy, along with treasure boxes and the likes), I got a Netflix account (not really an accomplishment, but that's how deep I have to dig...) Which, by the way, is awesome! All of the god-awful, how-were-they-ever-made movies that are just so bad that you have to like them... Horrible movies are by far the best movies ever! Latest, greatest movie ever being: Someone's Knocking at the Door.
Please watch the trailer and tell me you don't want to watch it... I'll wait...
Fucking brilliant, awesome, amazing, all that is good, etc ad infinitum. Please go out and watch it, tell all your friends, because I need whoever wrote that to make about 1 million more movies to make my life complete! Please, seriously, watch this movie! And any other awesome(ly terrible) movie suggestions, please send them my way. I plowed a lot over the winter, pops Dled a virus onto his computer and I had to re-enter a whole years worth of data for both of his businesses which took probably 20 something hours, not fun at all, speaking of which, I should prob get on the continuing of the doing of that... and other than the random assortment of live professional sporting events, OH MY GOD! SPEAKING OF WHICH, OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!! No, that's not actually a sport, don't know how it would be, but, well, also, I don't want to get into this whole “WOO HE'S DEAD!” stuff. Yea, I guess, he got what he deserved, and that's cool and all, but, I don't think that it is something to get excited about, and it's horrible, meh. Something about wishing/praising someone's death and “Karma.” But my writings ain't about none a that there pussy intergalactic space travel, interdimensionary intertwinement of all spirits as one, and it definitely isn't no ding-dang-dong political mumbo-jumbo so that will be the end of that garbage. But, yea, no, so Osamabama, sports eventing, hmmmm... Oh right! May 1st, whence we all found out about dude dying, and if you were watching the Mets Phillies game, you would have heard the USA chant... Franco Unamerican (aka Francis Hadley, my bros friend, even tho he was in my grade... yea, answer me that one... lol) started that m'f chant, in the asshole section, 302. And yes, i'm proud of that fact. Haha. Awesome. I'm tired, and I feel like I should leave you with something to do/read, so i'll leave this here, hopefully I find some inspiration and can write about something and make it better soon. Peace outs.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What the shit, Ronneh?
So, here I am sitting in front of my computer screen, and I’m not going to lie, it feels a little weird. No, not because I really don’t use one anymore… Because I’m actually using my Windows 7 HP laptop for something other than using it as a DVR. And to me, well, the keyboard is a little weird, the buttons are a little too spread out, but I guess I will get used to it in writing this, but the old not-so-trusty-anymore Macbook is so easy to navigate and type on. As it turns out, not only is the hard drive set to perpetual level 1 on a toaster, but now the battery has taken its last dump, and the laptop only works if it’s plugged in. Awesome! Funny story, I haven’t used this laptop in so long, the battery has died and am using this one currently plugged in, because I didn’t want to use my macbook plugged in… Makes sense, I guess, for in about 5 hours, when this thing fully charges, yes, 5 hours, stupid thing only trickle charges… Whoever invented that should be shot in the penis. Not to completely demolish all fabric and knowledge of it ever existing, but using a BB gun, and while having an erection, shot directly down the pee-hole from point-blank range. I don’t want massive amounts of blood or anything, maybe pain, maybe, more so just that somehow, magically preferably, they cannot hold urine, and as it is produced, will continuously leak drip by drip onto their pants. Forcing them to wear diapers and not be able to get blowjobs, unless the girl is into golden showers n drinkin pee, I guess. But I guess what is actually weird about this writing sesh is that, well, usually I think of something awesome, amazing, hilarious, life-altering, plain-old-silly, or something to those extents happens, and I feel the need to write a little bit about them, and ramble on for the other 96%. After being held captive by Kim Jong Il, between the dates of March 5 and June 17, I am back on my writing grind, and am willing and hopefully able to flex my literary muscles yet again. Well, while held captive, I was propaganda master of his “regime,” so I guess you could say I was writing, but that was all fiction bull-hockey, not the real-life situations that are my daily grind, that matter oh-so-much to everyone on Earth and are of utmost importance for both National Security and the fate of the free-world. Speaking of which, can anybody teach me how to properly eat an ice pop and type something on the computer at the same time. Apparently I no longer HOLY FUCKING BEETLE JUST JUMPED ON ME! have the ability to do that anymore. I seem to just be dripping lemon-flavored Dora the Explora (cuz she so gansta, yo) DIE FUCKING BEETLE! ice pop all over my white T. No, not the Dem Franchize Boys variant of “White Tee.” but rather a T-shirt that just-so-happens to be white, like the color of my skin. No, no, not the blinding “holy shit put on a shirt” white of my stomach, but rather… Yea, probably that one on second thought… Funny story, was outside MDW wearing no shirt, to “get my base tan on for the beach (because I go oh so frequently…lol)” and I got beater burn. Yes, that is how deep white trash is ingrained in my particular variant of DNA. Thanks mom n dad. Hearts! That and the fact that (what little of) my facial hair (if it can even be considered that) No, never mind, that’s all Mexican, haha, my little Sanchez goin on. It’s all good though, one day, I might be able to grow facial hair and get all the ladies, or I can still pretend I’m not yet 18 and get some underage girls… I like the second idea better, just hope nobody catches on and I def don’t wanna pull an LT on dem hoez. Speaking of which, I guess it now makes sense as to why I’m a pedo: My idol as a child is also a pedo. It all makes sense now! Lean wit it, Rock wit it! Sorry, was talkin about DFB before, and put them on shuffle on my iTunes. Damn snap music and its awesomeness… er, uh, I don’t know that words can describe exactly how it goes, but I can try: Have you ever seen a 900 lb man with a Chihuahua deep-throating his erect penis, a Doberman stuck in his asshole via its tail, running naked across 7 lanes of a highway to get to a broken-down ice cream truck? Neither have I, but I’m sure that I would be unable to look the other way. It’s so bad, yet, well, you just have to watch, and video record it too, of course, just in case he gets hit by a semi haulin 80,000 pounds of freight. Instant Kajillionaire! Yea, so it’s like that, except this has to do more so with the ears, and less so with the eyes. Because, if you could see music, well, it would be weird to say the least, and I would hope it wouldn’t be like one of those gay visualizer/equalizers that windows media player has (does anybody use that anymore(Does that exist anymore?(Should I close these three sets of parenthesis?)Meh, I guess I could.) Did I close them all out yet?) How about now?) I think by now, I’ve close too many.) I’m not gonna worry about it though.) All these sentence fragments are fun!) So, yea, “snap music,” very terrible, slightly entertaining, not sure why. Maybe someone will research this and get back to me, maybe.
What’s been going on in my life… Hmmm… Well, I had Lyme disease, that was awesome! Sleeping + arthritis = my idea of a good time! The other cool part about it, well, there are actually at least two, was the fact that I just had to walk out into the sunlight to get a sunburn, stupid Doxycycline. Was that what it was called? Sounds like it’s a drug, so it’s good enough for me… That’s probably some boner medication, and I just ruined my reputation by saying I took boner medication for 3 weeks straight. Nah, never mind, falso alarmo, I don’t have a positive reputation to be harmed. Haha, fail. Oh, right, an excellent question, what was the other God DAMNIT! Just switched pages and I completely blanked on what I was talkin about, hold up… Oh, right, …cool part about having Lyme and being on meds for three weeks was the fact that I couldn’t really drink much. And in being that I couldn’t really drink much, I couldn’t drink at all. Now, I wouldn’t go out and saying that I’m an alcoholic or anything like that, in fact I might even say I ain’t not none a dem dere alky-mc-holics not never no way. I don’t drink often, but when I do drink, it’s a lot. And let me tell you, I drank a lot the past week(ish), and somehow my tolerance wasn’t really affected at all. Guess it’s like riding a bike, you never forget it, just gotta remember how to do it. That doesn’t actually make sense, but I’m going to let it slide, because that’s how it seems to be, and it is the only logical explanation that I have for it. Is it bad that I’m too lazy to get up, and walk 7 (approximated) feet to the nearest ash tray and properly put out my cigarette, so I just placed it on the ground next to me? I know what you’re thinking, and it’s absolutely correct. I’m in the garage, in a camping chair, and the floor is concrete. (Did I mention that white-trash is deeply rooted in my DNA.?) I mean, think about it. I hadn’t drank for over a month, probably, I now weigh 180-185 pounds, which is a mere fragment of my former self (as high as 240 soph-junior year of college, whenever that was, during my prime.) and something else. Because everything should be in threes. Not sure why, but that’s the way it is. There were three wise men, but I really feel that they were not so wise. You ask why? Let me explain to you: Dudes traveled far far away (St. Matthews 2:11 says “young child” and not “new-born” so they must have come a from far, far away. Eat that shit and like it David Hasselhoff!) and gave the dude Gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Now, I can’t knock ‘em too much, because without them, apparently, we wouldn’t be getting all sorts of awesome presents on Christmas, so that’s a +1 in my book, but come on, a kid, gold, frankincense, myrrh…? What the fuck are the last two things anyway…?!?! I mean, yea, gold kinda makes sense, it’s shiny and if the kid keeps it, he will have some money at some point, kinda like a trust fund in ancient baby jebus times. What the fuck is a little baby jesus gonna be doin with dried tree sap? Come on. If you’re so wise, why wouldn’t you realize that a fucking child does not want anything to do with dried tree sap?! Fucking idiots! Maybe get the Jew a dradle or something. Too soon? So yea, maybe it was just a “lucky week,” but I really feel that my drinking ability was outstanding, to say the least, and it culminated properly in a so-called “Beer Olympics.” I mean, Wednesday night, it took me 14 beers to get to buzzed status, that’s a little ridiculous. And at the “Beer Olympics,” I was drinking sometime around 11:30a-2a ish, walked to a bar, took a shot, drank 3 beers, and did a car bomb. No, not the drink, I Macguyvered the shit out of a car and turned it into a bomb, Hazzah! Maybe I just dreamed the Macguyver part, but it was still pretty sweet. Or maybe I was just so drunk that I couldn’t even realize that I was drunk, but I’d like to think that not the case. That is all for now, little update, little golden verbiage forever glorified into the anals of the interwebs. Enjoy.
Peace!
S(cott) dot M(iller)eezy
What’s been going on in my life… Hmmm… Well, I had Lyme disease, that was awesome! Sleeping + arthritis = my idea of a good time! The other cool part about it, well, there are actually at least two, was the fact that I just had to walk out into the sunlight to get a sunburn, stupid Doxycycline. Was that what it was called? Sounds like it’s a drug, so it’s good enough for me… That’s probably some boner medication, and I just ruined my reputation by saying I took boner medication for 3 weeks straight. Nah, never mind, falso alarmo, I don’t have a positive reputation to be harmed. Haha, fail. Oh, right, an excellent question, what was the other God DAMNIT! Just switched pages and I completely blanked on what I was talkin about, hold up… Oh, right, …cool part about having Lyme and being on meds for three weeks was the fact that I couldn’t really drink much. And in being that I couldn’t really drink much, I couldn’t drink at all. Now, I wouldn’t go out and saying that I’m an alcoholic or anything like that, in fact I might even say I ain’t not none a dem dere alky-mc-holics not never no way. I don’t drink often, but when I do drink, it’s a lot. And let me tell you, I drank a lot the past week(ish), and somehow my tolerance wasn’t really affected at all. Guess it’s like riding a bike, you never forget it, just gotta remember how to do it. That doesn’t actually make sense, but I’m going to let it slide, because that’s how it seems to be, and it is the only logical explanation that I have for it. Is it bad that I’m too lazy to get up, and walk 7 (approximated) feet to the nearest ash tray and properly put out my cigarette, so I just placed it on the ground next to me? I know what you’re thinking, and it’s absolutely correct. I’m in the garage, in a camping chair, and the floor is concrete. (Did I mention that white-trash is deeply rooted in my DNA.?) I mean, think about it. I hadn’t drank for over a month, probably, I now weigh 180-185 pounds, which is a mere fragment of my former self (as high as 240 soph-junior year of college, whenever that was, during my prime.) and something else. Because everything should be in threes. Not sure why, but that’s the way it is. There were three wise men, but I really feel that they were not so wise. You ask why? Let me explain to you: Dudes traveled far far away (St. Matthews 2:11 says “young child” and not “new-born” so they must have come a from far, far away. Eat that shit and like it David Hasselhoff!) and gave the dude Gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Now, I can’t knock ‘em too much, because without them, apparently, we wouldn’t be getting all sorts of awesome presents on Christmas, so that’s a +1 in my book, but come on, a kid, gold, frankincense, myrrh…? What the fuck are the last two things anyway…?!?! I mean, yea, gold kinda makes sense, it’s shiny and if the kid keeps it, he will have some money at some point, kinda like a trust fund in ancient baby jebus times. What the fuck is a little baby jesus gonna be doin with dried tree sap? Come on. If you’re so wise, why wouldn’t you realize that a fucking child does not want anything to do with dried tree sap?! Fucking idiots! Maybe get the Jew a dradle or something. Too soon? So yea, maybe it was just a “lucky week,” but I really feel that my drinking ability was outstanding, to say the least, and it culminated properly in a so-called “Beer Olympics.” I mean, Wednesday night, it took me 14 beers to get to buzzed status, that’s a little ridiculous. And at the “Beer Olympics,” I was drinking sometime around 11:30a-2a ish, walked to a bar, took a shot, drank 3 beers, and did a car bomb. No, not the drink, I Macguyvered the shit out of a car and turned it into a bomb, Hazzah! Maybe I just dreamed the Macguyver part, but it was still pretty sweet. Or maybe I was just so drunk that I couldn’t even realize that I was drunk, but I’d like to think that not the case. That is all for now, little update, little golden verbiage forever glorified into the anals of the interwebs. Enjoy.
Peace!
S(cott) dot M(iller)eezy
Thursday, June 17, 2010
You fucked it, Bob!
So, I haven’t written in a while, and I’m sure my presence has been greatly missed. And if it hasn’t, fuck off, nah, I also forgot I existed for quite some time myself. For you see, this is not actually me, but rather a “reaching-out”, if you will, of my subconscious. For, as most of you know, that “know” me, I wouldn’t actually say any of these things in person, for I am quite reserved and rarely speak up, especially if it goes against someone. But, well, the “silicone courage” comes out and I say things that my brain tells me repeatedly that I shouldn’t say out loud. I like that phrase, silicone courage, does it exist? Only one way to find out, time out whilest I check out wikipedia and urban dictionary.
(Insert elevator music… if only, that would be so friggin awesome! Well, pretend it’s real… NOW!)
Nope, doesn’t exist, I should probably get on copyrighting that and making millions from it. Here goes:
Silicone Courage: Having a computer screen to hide behind and feeling out-of-the-ordinarily courageous, giving you the ability to talk to that person you normally wouldn’t among other things. Copyright S dot Meezy. Or would it be a registered trademark? I should probably get a lawyer on board for this one… Haha. Yea, you’re right… I won’t, at all. I can pretend though ☺
Anyway, use it, I’ll sue. Or, maybe, use it, and keep spreading it around, and then one day I’ll sue everyone for using it a be a kajillionaire. Yes, that’s a real word. Don’t believe me? It exists on Wikipedia (the real encyclopedia of the world.) And according to the Urban Dictionary, it is equal to 1000 bajillion (dollars in this instance). And once I have my kajillion dollars, my 1000 bajillion, well, I’m not quite sure what I will do with all that money, but I’ll do something like buy a taco bell franchise and put it in my house. Mmmmmm taco bell. Cheesy gordita crunch for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 4th meal. Would they all be considered fourth meal? Eh, who cares about semantics, it would be sweeter than a lollipop dipped in an 18-year-old virgin’s pussy.
Anywho, so this weekend in speaking with Some Random Giraffe, we decided something, which I have made my actual facebook status, S Dot Meezy (which I’ve since gone back to my real name, to avoid confusion, on my own behalf, of myself), not my S. Me Z status. Something to the fact of responsibility and the fact that people do not accept it, at all. (Going through this again, instead of doing the actual work I’m supposed to do, of course, I realize that I don’t even remember this happening, lol. But I should probably get on that train myself, so as to not make myself one a dem dere hippy-crits. Long story short: How do you tell a man that you done did $4,000 worth of damage to his pride-and-joy, his livelihood, his bread maker? You can’t, without expecting to get punched the fuck out… And how do you tell that man that you did this when he is the one that puts the roof over your head? Any suggestions, I’m all ears, well, eyes, I guess, unless you want to call me. Reach me @ 382-5968. Yes, that is not my real number, it actually spells out “Fuck You” or “Fuc Kyou”, with the hyphen in its proper place… Important? No.) So, back to our regularly scheduled programming, after looking at this again, even though I don’t remember where I was originally going with this, I have found a direction to travel, and fuck, let’s see where it brings us! (The last time I played this game, I almost lost my car to the mud-covered hill due to a lack of LSD. No, not the drug, a limited slip differential… Watch my cousin vinny, or I can just copy and paste the quote, because at the current moment, I’m bored, and trying to get my mind off of my upcoming phone that isn’t out yet, nor is there a specific release date other than summer… GAY!… The last one I got was September, it’s been way too long!
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The ‘05 tC had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.
Obviously, changed the 64 skylark with the 05 tC, but I don’t own a 64 Skylark, do i?! Didn’t think so… What if I do, and am not aware of it? That would be weird…
Hokay, so… Fuck the parenthesis I forgot to add in, I’m not actually going to close this one, and hopefully, now that I’ve pointed it out, you will get uber pissed (where is the umlaut on Microsoft word? Too many efforts to insert a symbol, so you get nothing there as well. Another unclosed parenthesis. Ha!
Funny story, true story, but funny. So my one friend may or may not have a drinking/drug problem, and since I haven’t hung out with him (for reasons due to the upcoming story, if, knowing me it might not, it ever comes, you will understand, possibly, why) since this story took place, I have maybe drank, twice, in over a month, possibly pushing two months now. Time flies any more, even though it also goes by slow as shit… Can you believe this week is already over (almost.)? Can you believe it’s already (insert the current month here…) ?! So we were all hangin’ out, having a little chill sesh at mah buddy’s cribbage, drinking quite heavily. I was killing everyone in any game known to man (aka listening to Aziz Ansari and beer pong, probably most likely due to my partner (no, not in a gay way, you homophobe) “carrying me on his shoulders”) and getting all the fly honeys, cuz that’s how I do. HAHA. Yea, this is my world, I can make it up as I see fit. At least I point out when I lie, well, when it’s a blatant lie… maybe… So, we’re all drinking, having a good time, and I was NOT pacing myself at all. Not very surprising, I never do, if I’m gonna do something, you bet your ass I’m gonna put 110% into it. So 1:30 comes around, and I’m all, “Fuck this, I’m going to sleep.” Translation: I’m old as shit, and also super lame, plus waking up at 7 am M-F sucks a fat three (because it’s three times worse than sucking a fat one, in my mind at least…) So I probably find the couch and pass out mid fall into the soft, comfortability of the lovely furnishing which I have claimed my own for the night, without urinating on it, because I am not a dog or a cat or whatever else does that… Wake up the next morning, feeling AWESOME! Everyone else starts rolling out of bed all OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE SHIT. Well, apparently they were all chugging Jack until 4 in the morning and decided waking up at 830 am was a good idea. So, come to find out my one friend, whose name will not be revealed, and something about innocent until proven guilty in a court of law (my dad seriously needs to stop watching cops, that is the dumbest show on earth, filled with the dumbest people on earth. Nothing against cops, but, wait, everything against cops. They are completely unnecessary in most parts of the world. Well, not completely, but whatever, stop distracting me. Come to find out this other kid, the one with the problem, which is kind of fueled by some people “concerned about his well-being” aka attention grabbing whores (in dudely form) drank way too much, fell down a flight of stairs, complete with a 90 degree turn after 6 steps, which in itself deserves some sort of medal, and was lying (laying? Idk.) at the bottom of the stairs, face down, laughing at himself. We go down to the basement to wake up problem-having child, clean up a little bit, and notice that the TV command center, which consists of a TV (no shit?!) an xbox, an xbox 360(yes, both… Why, who knows and or cares… They were seriously both there, and the original xbox is slightly redundant… not my chair, not my problem…), a VCR (probably the last known one in existence, no longer can I loop the princess bride in a VRC :’( and probably something else stuffs too was covered in some sort of clearish liquid. Well, as it “turns out” it was pee, the problem-having-kid was the only one downstairs alone, woke up w/ his pants unbuttoned, and all signs kinda pointed to him peeing all over this shit. Which makes sense, kinda. But well, it was never brought to court, and he was never formally charged, or had a chance to defend himself in front of his peers, so, we’ll call it a tie. How? IDK, shit! So guy whose house it was all gave him the chance to fess up, playing stupid like hey somebody spilled something on the VCR thing, or something, idk. At the time it was way more dramatic n sich, but looking back, it’s kinda wtvr, prob cause it wasn’t my shit that got pissed on.
Fuck, I had some serious gold, but I completely forgot all about it, I need to start carrying around a voice recorder or texting myself notes on what stupid shit I think about. God damnit sweaty, hairy monkey nutsack-filled plastic testicles!
Who do you portray yourself as? Do you want people to think you’re better than they are, better than you are, better than anything? Do you show people you don’t care so they think that’s why you do so poorly, do not achieve anything in life? Have you had so much potential and done nothing with it? Why do you feel that you need to portray yourself as someone other than what you actually are? Do you even know who you are? All of these questions might scare you, shit, they’re scaring me, partially because I don’t know who’s asking them, and partially because, well, they’re scary to think about!
No idea where I was going with that one either. If I remember, good for you, if not, it’ll just be something else that makes no sense. Surprise! No, it’s not your birthday, ?, we’re about to play a fun game. (yes, I just used a question mark in a appositive… technically not an appositive, but you can go lick Ron Jeremy’s decrepit, protracted, STI carrying schlong-a-dong for all I care with you getting all technical on me like that!) This game hasn’t even started, and I’m already calling time mother-lovin’ out!
So, I finally remembered I exist, again, months later, and do not remember the game we were going to play. Quite upsetting, actually, because with that intro to the game, reading over this again, I was like Shit yea I wanna play this game! But now it will never be invented and the world will not be a better place for its existence. :’( On a more positive note, I’m ending it here before I make it any worse than it already is. Seriously though, think about that question in the last “para-graph.” I sometimes have gems of wisdom, sometimes, maybe…?
Peace out nyuckas!
S(dot)cott M(eezy)iller
(Insert elevator music… if only, that would be so friggin awesome! Well, pretend it’s real… NOW!)
Nope, doesn’t exist, I should probably get on copyrighting that and making millions from it. Here goes:
Silicone Courage: Having a computer screen to hide behind and feeling out-of-the-ordinarily courageous, giving you the ability to talk to that person you normally wouldn’t among other things. Copyright S dot Meezy. Or would it be a registered trademark? I should probably get a lawyer on board for this one… Haha. Yea, you’re right… I won’t, at all. I can pretend though ☺
Anyway, use it, I’ll sue. Or, maybe, use it, and keep spreading it around, and then one day I’ll sue everyone for using it a be a kajillionaire. Yes, that’s a real word. Don’t believe me? It exists on Wikipedia (the real encyclopedia of the world.) And according to the Urban Dictionary, it is equal to 1000 bajillion (dollars in this instance). And once I have my kajillion dollars, my 1000 bajillion, well, I’m not quite sure what I will do with all that money, but I’ll do something like buy a taco bell franchise and put it in my house. Mmmmmm taco bell. Cheesy gordita crunch for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 4th meal. Would they all be considered fourth meal? Eh, who cares about semantics, it would be sweeter than a lollipop dipped in an 18-year-old virgin’s pussy.
Anywho, so this weekend in speaking with Some Random Giraffe, we decided something, which I have made my actual facebook status, S Dot Meezy (which I’ve since gone back to my real name, to avoid confusion, on my own behalf, of myself), not my S. Me Z status. Something to the fact of responsibility and the fact that people do not accept it, at all. (Going through this again, instead of doing the actual work I’m supposed to do, of course, I realize that I don’t even remember this happening, lol. But I should probably get on that train myself, so as to not make myself one a dem dere hippy-crits. Long story short: How do you tell a man that you done did $4,000 worth of damage to his pride-and-joy, his livelihood, his bread maker? You can’t, without expecting to get punched the fuck out… And how do you tell that man that you did this when he is the one that puts the roof over your head? Any suggestions, I’m all ears, well, eyes, I guess, unless you want to call me. Reach me @ 382-5968. Yes, that is not my real number, it actually spells out “Fuck You” or “Fuc Kyou”, with the hyphen in its proper place… Important? No.) So, back to our regularly scheduled programming, after looking at this again, even though I don’t remember where I was originally going with this, I have found a direction to travel, and fuck, let’s see where it brings us! (The last time I played this game, I almost lost my car to the mud-covered hill due to a lack of LSD. No, not the drug, a limited slip differential… Watch my cousin vinny, or I can just copy and paste the quote, because at the current moment, I’m bored, and trying to get my mind off of my upcoming phone that isn’t out yet, nor is there a specific release date other than summer… GAY!… The last one I got was September, it’s been way too long!
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The ‘05 tC had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.
Obviously, changed the 64 skylark with the 05 tC, but I don’t own a 64 Skylark, do i?! Didn’t think so… What if I do, and am not aware of it? That would be weird…
Hokay, so… Fuck the parenthesis I forgot to add in, I’m not actually going to close this one, and hopefully, now that I’ve pointed it out, you will get uber pissed (where is the umlaut on Microsoft word? Too many efforts to insert a symbol, so you get nothing there as well. Another unclosed parenthesis. Ha!
Funny story, true story, but funny. So my one friend may or may not have a drinking/drug problem, and since I haven’t hung out with him (for reasons due to the upcoming story, if, knowing me it might not, it ever comes, you will understand, possibly, why) since this story took place, I have maybe drank, twice, in over a month, possibly pushing two months now. Time flies any more, even though it also goes by slow as shit… Can you believe this week is already over (almost.)? Can you believe it’s already (insert the current month here…) ?! So we were all hangin’ out, having a little chill sesh at mah buddy’s cribbage, drinking quite heavily. I was killing everyone in any game known to man (aka listening to Aziz Ansari and beer pong, probably most likely due to my partner (no, not in a gay way, you homophobe) “carrying me on his shoulders”) and getting all the fly honeys, cuz that’s how I do. HAHA. Yea, this is my world, I can make it up as I see fit. At least I point out when I lie, well, when it’s a blatant lie… maybe… So, we’re all drinking, having a good time, and I was NOT pacing myself at all. Not very surprising, I never do, if I’m gonna do something, you bet your ass I’m gonna put 110% into it. So 1:30 comes around, and I’m all, “Fuck this, I’m going to sleep.” Translation: I’m old as shit, and also super lame, plus waking up at 7 am M-F sucks a fat three (because it’s three times worse than sucking a fat one, in my mind at least…) So I probably find the couch and pass out mid fall into the soft, comfortability of the lovely furnishing which I have claimed my own for the night, without urinating on it, because I am not a dog or a cat or whatever else does that… Wake up the next morning, feeling AWESOME! Everyone else starts rolling out of bed all OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE SHIT. Well, apparently they were all chugging Jack until 4 in the morning and decided waking up at 830 am was a good idea. So, come to find out my one friend, whose name will not be revealed, and something about innocent until proven guilty in a court of law (my dad seriously needs to stop watching cops, that is the dumbest show on earth, filled with the dumbest people on earth. Nothing against cops, but, wait, everything against cops. They are completely unnecessary in most parts of the world. Well, not completely, but whatever, stop distracting me. Come to find out this other kid, the one with the problem, which is kind of fueled by some people “concerned about his well-being” aka attention grabbing whores (in dudely form) drank way too much, fell down a flight of stairs, complete with a 90 degree turn after 6 steps, which in itself deserves some sort of medal, and was lying (laying? Idk.) at the bottom of the stairs, face down, laughing at himself. We go down to the basement to wake up problem-having child, clean up a little bit, and notice that the TV command center, which consists of a TV (no shit?!) an xbox, an xbox 360(yes, both… Why, who knows and or cares… They were seriously both there, and the original xbox is slightly redundant… not my chair, not my problem…), a VCR (probably the last known one in existence, no longer can I loop the princess bride in a VRC :’( and probably something else stuffs too was covered in some sort of clearish liquid. Well, as it “turns out” it was pee, the problem-having-kid was the only one downstairs alone, woke up w/ his pants unbuttoned, and all signs kinda pointed to him peeing all over this shit. Which makes sense, kinda. But well, it was never brought to court, and he was never formally charged, or had a chance to defend himself in front of his peers, so, we’ll call it a tie. How? IDK, shit! So guy whose house it was all gave him the chance to fess up, playing stupid like hey somebody spilled something on the VCR thing, or something, idk. At the time it was way more dramatic n sich, but looking back, it’s kinda wtvr, prob cause it wasn’t my shit that got pissed on.
Fuck, I had some serious gold, but I completely forgot all about it, I need to start carrying around a voice recorder or texting myself notes on what stupid shit I think about. God damnit sweaty, hairy monkey nutsack-filled plastic testicles!
Who do you portray yourself as? Do you want people to think you’re better than they are, better than you are, better than anything? Do you show people you don’t care so they think that’s why you do so poorly, do not achieve anything in life? Have you had so much potential and done nothing with it? Why do you feel that you need to portray yourself as someone other than what you actually are? Do you even know who you are? All of these questions might scare you, shit, they’re scaring me, partially because I don’t know who’s asking them, and partially because, well, they’re scary to think about!
No idea where I was going with that one either. If I remember, good for you, if not, it’ll just be something else that makes no sense. Surprise! No, it’s not your birthday, ?, we’re about to play a fun game. (yes, I just used a question mark in a appositive… technically not an appositive, but you can go lick Ron Jeremy’s decrepit, protracted, STI carrying schlong-a-dong for all I care with you getting all technical on me like that!) This game hasn’t even started, and I’m already calling time mother-lovin’ out!
So, I finally remembered I exist, again, months later, and do not remember the game we were going to play. Quite upsetting, actually, because with that intro to the game, reading over this again, I was like Shit yea I wanna play this game! But now it will never be invented and the world will not be a better place for its existence. :’( On a more positive note, I’m ending it here before I make it any worse than it already is. Seriously though, think about that question in the last “para-graph.” I sometimes have gems of wisdom, sometimes, maybe…?
Peace out nyuckas!
S(dot)cott M(eezy)iller
Friday, March 5, 2010
I Need a Hot Girl.
Sometimes I get to thinking, and sometimes that gets me into trouble. Notice I said sometimes. Because most of the time I do not think, and most of the times that I do ACTUALLY think, it does not get me into trouble. Therefore the coefficient for trouble from thinking is somewhat similar to .49 X .49 which = 24% at best. However unrealistic that number is, I guess by the use of my words it is possible to be occurred as such. Does that actually matter? Fuckin’ A Right! You’re so smart! How do you do it? You don’t have to answer that question, I don’t really actually care, I was just doing it to be polite and make you feel like you’re opinion matters, when we all know that only my opinion and that of Some Random Giraffe are the only two opinions on the Earth that matter. Anyhow, sitting in traffic this morning, “rush hour” traffic, if you will, I noticed something. Well, I noticed something that I had subconsciously noticed before but had never came to the forefront of my conscious brain power-ness until this morning. Maybe it was more of noticing something that I haven’t noticed, so I anti-noticed something(?). Looking at all of the cars, and the people driving those cars, I noticed that there are absolutely ZERO good-looking girls driving to work in the morning. NONE! What the fuck?! Do they not have to work because they are so attractive? Do they just not go in so early because they need extra beauty sleep? What exactly is going on here? Looking around at all of the cars, being bored as hell, I noticed that I have not once noticed a super-fine, oh-so-sexy, what-I-wouldn’t-do-to-her type of girl ever in my morning commute. Sitting in traffic in the morning, you would think you would see at least one. One?! Not a single one! Maybe there’s a road that exists that only beautiful women are allowed to drive on. Maybe we should employ sexy females to drive during rush hour traffic, to make the drive more pleasant. Which I then thought about and realized that there were pros and cons to this. Pros: Stare at hot chics, make eye contact, get a boner and not have the embarrassment of other people, except maybe a trucker, seeing it. Cons: Get a stiffy and have a trucker hit on you, stare at a hot chick and crash, get laughed at by hot chics, not see boobies., and get your hopes up for nothing.
Beautiful women don’t work. Don’t get me wrong; they do have jobs, but like as models and porn stars and such of the sort. And yes, they are really good at being bartenders, I guess, because who doesn’t want gymongous jugs staring at your eyes when you are ordering a drink (and drinking heavily), although they can really only be trusted to make girly drinks and open bottles of beer, we can’t ask too much of them, it’s still fine by me. But, you know what, good for them for being so attractive. Actually, another job they’re great at, receptionist and tanning salon employee. Oh, I’m sorry you pretentious prick of a douche licker, did I just name two things after saying “another”? Maybe they’re basically one in the same, and I wanted to elaborate. Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's sittin' at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn. What, oh, Haggard, right, funny where your mind wanders when you say something silly like “Maybe, just maybe”. My mind is a big jumble of movie quotes and much other irrelevant bullshit that doesn’t matter to much more than this god awfully forsaken blog written about, well, what the fuck is it ever written about? Stupidity. Wait, awesomeness. Pure, unadulterated awe-inspiring, prodigiosity.
Giving up that extra cupcake in third grade, and leading to their proper eating behaviors, they probably deserve to not work. Wait, that’s not how it happened. The cutest girls in grade school are usually the ones that turn out to be all full of STDs and fatness come 5th grade. FIFTH GRADE?! Eh, probably by now. It was probably more like the loserly athletic/fit girl that wasn’t cool enough to be given a cupcake in 3rd grade for Timmy’s birthday, never getting to taste the delectability, the titillating, clit-tickling ability of deliciously sweet yum-yum cuppy cakes. Never figuring this out, with puberty, throw in a little luck, and continuing to play sports, but somehow not being popular even so, and all their hard work finally pays off! They are hot as hell, and people start noticing them. But, the “cool cats” that made fun of her and never had the time of day for her before get nothing from her, because one day she will go postal on their asses for all the torment and psychologist visits they brought upon her. The band-geek that was her friend no matter what because it was a human of the female variety that talked to him, will probably get first dibs. But it’s too late, because senior year is already over, and soon enough she will go to college, get into clubs and get served drinks, meet the wrong guys, and one day end up in Playboy College Girls. End up sleeping with a teacher, becoming preggers and dropping out of school, have MTV make a show about it, My Teacher Fucked Me In The Ass and Got Me Pregnant. What the fuck did I just talk about? You can’t get preggo from sodomy. Unless there is some form of disgusto that involves analinguis and then spittin the juicy yum cum back into the va-jay-jay. I’m sure there’s a word for that, I just haven’t been able to find it on urban dictionary or Wikipedia. A sort of modified felch + snowball 3X combo, if you will. Back to my previous direction. If they did have real jobs, there would be way more cars which would lead to way more traffic, and especially problematic, there would be more women drivers, which would lead to more traffic and more accidents, because as we all know women can’t drive, so it’s probably for the best.
Congratulations on being hot. You deserve all the attention you get. Stay off the roads and don’t get a job, just keep suckin’ that dick for all of your monetary needs. But, if for some reason, you decide you want to become ugly for some crazy reason, don’t depend on men to pay for anything for you anymore, unless you’re that good at givin’ it up and s’in that dee.
Someday, maybe, just someday, i hope, I will be able to do something useful, or something like that, I think.
S(dot)cott M(eezy)iller
Beautiful women don’t work. Don’t get me wrong; they do have jobs, but like as models and porn stars and such of the sort. And yes, they are really good at being bartenders, I guess, because who doesn’t want gymongous jugs staring at your eyes when you are ordering a drink (and drinking heavily), although they can really only be trusted to make girly drinks and open bottles of beer, we can’t ask too much of them, it’s still fine by me. But, you know what, good for them for being so attractive. Actually, another job they’re great at, receptionist and tanning salon employee. Oh, I’m sorry you pretentious prick of a douche licker, did I just name two things after saying “another”? Maybe they’re basically one in the same, and I wanted to elaborate. Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's sittin' at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn. What, oh, Haggard, right, funny where your mind wanders when you say something silly like “Maybe, just maybe”. My mind is a big jumble of movie quotes and much other irrelevant bullshit that doesn’t matter to much more than this god awfully forsaken blog written about, well, what the fuck is it ever written about? Stupidity. Wait, awesomeness. Pure, unadulterated awe-inspiring, prodigiosity.
Giving up that extra cupcake in third grade, and leading to their proper eating behaviors, they probably deserve to not work. Wait, that’s not how it happened. The cutest girls in grade school are usually the ones that turn out to be all full of STDs and fatness come 5th grade. FIFTH GRADE?! Eh, probably by now. It was probably more like the loserly athletic/fit girl that wasn’t cool enough to be given a cupcake in 3rd grade for Timmy’s birthday, never getting to taste the delectability, the titillating, clit-tickling ability of deliciously sweet yum-yum cuppy cakes. Never figuring this out, with puberty, throw in a little luck, and continuing to play sports, but somehow not being popular even so, and all their hard work finally pays off! They are hot as hell, and people start noticing them. But, the “cool cats” that made fun of her and never had the time of day for her before get nothing from her, because one day she will go postal on their asses for all the torment and psychologist visits they brought upon her. The band-geek that was her friend no matter what because it was a human of the female variety that talked to him, will probably get first dibs. But it’s too late, because senior year is already over, and soon enough she will go to college, get into clubs and get served drinks, meet the wrong guys, and one day end up in Playboy College Girls. End up sleeping with a teacher, becoming preggers and dropping out of school, have MTV make a show about it, My Teacher Fucked Me In The Ass and Got Me Pregnant. What the fuck did I just talk about? You can’t get preggo from sodomy. Unless there is some form of disgusto that involves analinguis and then spittin the juicy yum cum back into the va-jay-jay. I’m sure there’s a word for that, I just haven’t been able to find it on urban dictionary or Wikipedia. A sort of modified felch + snowball 3X combo, if you will. Back to my previous direction. If they did have real jobs, there would be way more cars which would lead to way more traffic, and especially problematic, there would be more women drivers, which would lead to more traffic and more accidents, because as we all know women can’t drive, so it’s probably for the best.
Congratulations on being hot. You deserve all the attention you get. Stay off the roads and don’t get a job, just keep suckin’ that dick for all of your monetary needs. But, if for some reason, you decide you want to become ugly for some crazy reason, don’t depend on men to pay for anything for you anymore, unless you’re that good at givin’ it up and s’in that dee.
Someday, maybe, just someday, i hope, I will be able to do something useful, or something like that, I think.
S(dot)cott M(eezy)iller
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